Choosing Love Over Pressure This Holiday Season

The holidays hold so much magic. And still, I noticed a heaviness begin to creep in this year, a familiar pressure that so many of us adults carry, beginning to settle into the hearts of my children.

I watched my teenagers feel the unspoken expectation to exchange expensive gifts with their friends. And little by little, the joy of the season started to dim. When I saw that light fade, my heart sank and I knew we needed to choose differently.

So I paused, and I got curious. I asked for guidance on how to return to love and joy, how to shift from pressure to presence, from obligation to peace. A few well intentioned, but fruitless conversations with my kids later, the answer suddenly became clear: serve.

This Christmas Day, we are choosing to volunteer at a nursing home. And I feel nothing but gratitude for the opportunity.

When we made that decision together, the energy in our home shifted immediately. The girls lit up as they began imagining how they could bring joy to others. My youngest gathered all the markers in our house, some dried out, some missing caps, along with broken crayons and scraps of paper, ready to create portraits of the residents. My 10-year old is brainstorming some questions that she wants to ask residents or things she wants to share that might bring some smiles. My 13-year-old felt called to make jewelry for folks. Together, we chose simple supplies: beads, elastic string, words infused with encouragement and love. The goal: not just making crafts, but creating connection and bringing meaning back.

And yes, gifts on Christmas morning are sweet. They are fun and giving does bring joy. I hope to always be in a position to lovingly wrap a gift for each of my kiddos to open on Christmas Day, no matter their age. But my kids are learning something deeper now. That kind of happiness is fleeting. Real joy, the kind that anchors you, comes from giving, from choosing love, from allowing your life to be of service.

When we pour our energy into lifting others, that joy has roots. It expands. It lasts.

And to me, that’s what the holiday season, and life here on earth, is truly about.